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Musings

Jack and Jill – extended version

I’m quite certain everyone’s heard this nursery rhyme before at one point or another. For those of you who haven’t, it goes something like this:

Jack and Jill went up the hill to fetch a pail of water

Jack fell down and broke his crown

And Jill came tumbling after.

Banksy, Jack and Jill

Banksy, Jack and Jill

Now, here is an ‘extended’ version that I found extremely witty, and entertaining:

The party of the first part hereinafter known as Jack and the party of the second part hereinafter known as Jill ascended or caused to be ascended elevation of undetermined height and degree of slope, hereinafter referred as “hill”. Whose purpose it was to obtain, attain, procure, secure, or otherwise gain acquisition to, by any and/or all means available to them a receptacle or container, hereinafter known as “pail”, suitable for the transport of a liquid whose chemical properties shall be limited to hydrogen and oxygen, the proportions of which shall not be less than or exceed two parts for the first mentioned element and one part for the latter. Such a combination will hereinafter be called “water”.

On the occasion stated above, it has been established beyond a reasonable doubt that Jack did plunge, tumble, topple, or otherwise be caused to lose his footing in a manner that caused his body to be thrust in a downward direction. As a direct result of these combined circumstances, Jack suffered fractures and contusions of his cranial regions. Jill, whether due to Jack’s misfortune or not, was known to also tumble in a similar fashion after Jack. (Whether the term “after” shall be interpreted in a spatial or time passage sense has not been determined.)

(I do not take any credit for writing this, but I will definitely take credit for posting it)

About smshamma

"I'm selfish, impatient and a little insecure. I make mistakes, I am out of control, and at times hard to handle, but if you can't handle me at my worst, then you sure as hell don't deserve me at my best." - Marilyn Monroe

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