Love is meant to be one of the most powerful words in the English Language, but it has long since lost all intensity and meaning. Where it was once used to express a powerful bond between people, it is now used to depict mere appreciation.
I think it’s fair to assume that everyone’s been through relationships that ended, friendships that they wanted to become more but didn’t, divorces and deaths, the desire to get married and many other disappointments of the romantic nature. With that, usually comes the pain of rejection, confusion over being misunderstood, self-doubt, paranoia and so on.
We pretend to love unconditionally, when the truth of the matter is that no one is capable of loving another without setting conditions to their love. The only unconditional love that exists is that between a mother and her child. So what love is this that we celebrate?
I am disappointed with love. I am disappointed with the concept of love. I am disappointed with the perpetual abuse of the word and the emotion. What is love? How silly is it that we live our lives aspiring to love and be loved?
How am I supposed to know or believe when someone is being genuine in their use of the word love, or the phrase I love you? From experience, I know for a fact that people get so caught up in moments that they end up blurting these words to each other. But they forget that every moment is a prelude to other moments, and if they don’t mean what they say in one moment, it will all come back to bite them in their rear-ends eventually.
A moment. That is all it is.
Our whole lives are made up of moments. Of instances that may or may not mean something. And in some of those instances, we feel these great waves of emotions and we decide to make them more meaningful by adding a few expressive words here and there. You got it, it’s that “L” word again. It strikes me as very odd for someone to tell me they love me when they are emotionally unstable.
Yes, I said emotionally unstable. Let’s face it, we are all emotionally unstable when we are in love. There is no use denying the fact. Our emotions are all over the place, our palms sweaty, our hearts beating fast, our words either coming out too quickly or not coming out at all, our brains working in overdrive, our thoughts running a mile a minute. Seriously, how do we put so much faith in those moments? Allowing them to affect us so profoundly that we are left unable to function on a day to day basis.
I have been disappointed by these words time and again, let down every time, that I no longer have faith in them. In fact, I don’t want to be loved anymore. Love is for amateurs.
I want to be admired. I don’t want someone to fall in love with me like I am some sort of ride they’re on. No, I would rather someone admire me. Fall in admiration with me – as it were.
With admiration lies a certain amount of respect, fondness, and awe. And that is more important to me than for someone to merely love me. What is the point of loving someone if you are not going to treat them well or treat them with care? What is the point of loving someone if you won’t give them the respect they deserve? Admire me by allowing me to stand next to you, not in front of you or behind you. Admire me by accepting me for who I am. Admire me by showing pride rather than shame. Admiration is the key.
Don’t love me. Admire me.