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Rants, Valentine's Day

The Women Tell All

To Whom It May Concern,

You may agree that Valentine’s Day is an invented holiday and Cupid just a mythical creature. In fact, I assure you that Valentine’s Day is a commercial holiday aimed at making tons of money out of dispensable commodities such as hallmark cards, teddy bears, perfumes and roses.

However, be made aware that when you have a partner or a spouse, then the decent thing to do would be to acknowledge the existence of this holiday with something as simple and as pathetic as a whispered “Happy Valentine’s Day darling” followed with a hug.

Basically, what I’m asking you to do is to humour them. It won’t kill you, nor will it take anything away from your unwavering beliefs that you hate this holiday and will therefore, never partake in the celebrations.

Thank you.

Now, here is how I spent my day and the reason I am currently very furious with the majority of the male species.

I received numerous texts and calls from several of my close girlfriends complaining about their spouses not making any effort at Valentine’s Day yesterday. Now, every male reader is going to roll his eyes and scoff in disgust at this line. Perhaps, some of you will even stop reading and move on to more interesting topics – like football.

But hear me out…if you dare.

I realise that many of the male species use the excuse of Valentine’s being a consumerist holiday so they won’t have to bother with it. And you know what, you would be absolutely correct. But here is my question to all men…So what? SO WHAT? So, the hell, what?

My personal opinion is that men these days make no effort to make their women feel the least bit cared for. And you know what makes me so angry about that? It is the fact that it is SO EASY to make a woman happy. Pathetically easy, even. We are so easy to please. The formula is so simple, that I am at awe at the rarity of its application.

All it takes for you to put a smile on a woman’s face is a mere hug, or a kiss, or a rose, or a text or an email or a post-it note. Yes, we’re silly, but why not humour us? Why is it so easy for men to humour their buddies and go out for drinks or for a game of cards, but they cannot do the same for their wives or girlfriends? Men spend their entire lives complaining about women, saying they are so sensitive, they like to make a big deal out of everything – when the main reason women are that way is because you cannot be bothered to walk that EXTRA step for them. Hell, I wouldn’t even call it an extra step. Because no effort is needed, it is effortless. It’s effortless and yet you still can’t seem to do it.

And all the statuses I’ve seen yesterday from men?

“My Valentine’s date is my bed.”

“I have a hot date – with football.”

“Valentine’s is an invented holiday.”

“Valentine’s is for losers.”

“Everyday should be Valentine’s Day.”

“You’re spending this day expressing your love when you should be doing it all year round.”

Well gentlemen, you know what? Perhaps this day NEEDED to be created because it is the only excuse women can use to get you to show them any affection. To make you take that extra step so they feel special. Anyone ever think that we need this day, because no one IS spending the other 364 days making their loved ones feel special? Maybe that is why women make a big deal out of it? No one think of that?

Seriously, screw every person for not taking the time to make their loved ones feel special yesterday, for not making the wives and girlfriends happy, when they don’t ask for much more than a rose and a nice dinner.

I had a few of my girls today tell me their incredible spouse stories. And here are the two that stood out: One guy, well, he doesn’t “believe” in Valentine’s and refuses to ever celebrate it, so what did he do last night while his wife spent her evening at home? He went out with the guys for a game of cards and then to watch a football match on TV at a coffee shop. He was home around 2.00 am.

Now let me ask you something; what difference would it have made if that time was spent with your wife? Why use Valentine’s as an excuse not to take her out? Why not spend that time, till 2.00 am, with your wife instead? Why is it more important to be out with your friends doing things that you do every other day, rather than take your wife out and make her the happiest woman alive? You don’t even have to take her out if you don’t want to! Just be with her, watch a movie at home while you eat microwaved popcorn and sip on your cans of Diet Coke in your PJ’s. I honestly do not understand how that is SO HARD TO DO!

Another friend of mine, well she did not even hear from her husband all day. And when she decided to brush it off and take the lead and had this whole special night prepared for him? Well, his sentiments were encapsulated in one sentence, “save it, I’m tired tonight.”

Am I being unfair? Maybe. But all of us single women, we sit here wishing to have someone we can share all those moments with. We want to have a reason to celebrate Valentine’s and have someone to spend it with. Do we have expectations? Hell yeah! Who doesn’t?! But are our expectations unreasonable? Is wanting to feel loved and cared for every once in a while too much to handle? Does wanting a kiss before you leave to work, or a text during the day to reassure us that you’re thinking of us, or a rose on Valentine’s make us “high maintenance”?

If so, then with all due respect, piss off.

I’d rather be alone than settle for anything less than that.


About smshamma

"I'm selfish, impatient and a little insecure. I make mistakes, I am out of control, and at times hard to handle, but if you can't handle me at my worst, then you sure as hell don't deserve me at my best." - Marilyn Monroe


17 thoughts on “The Women Tell All

  1. Looks like us singles were the lucky ones yesterday. Who would have thought it?!

    Posted by Andrea Anastasiou | February 15, 2012, 22:26
  2. FIRST U HAVE 2 TAKE IT EASY and relax …life is not easy…and in the end this is the real life between men and women…i wish men treat women nicely with love and care we don’t need valentine…cause we need love , care and flowers all the year ..not once a year…

    Posted by Ghada Talib Younis | February 15, 2012, 22:42
  3. It couldn’t have been said any better! Love it!

    Posted by Amal Hamadeh | February 16, 2012, 01:06
  4. Who are these “men” your girlfriends are married to? Ridiculous… they have no imagination for the lust of life and the sheer pleasure to be derived form such an evening. And who, indeed, spends more time with their instead of their spouses? To me they sound more like overgrown children who want mother figures instead of spouses… pathetic.

    Posted by Samir | February 16, 2012, 11:53
  5. Thats so true everyone i ask at school keep saying “no, i dont feel like it this year” the guys of course even the ones with girlfriends!

    Posted by dimahshamma | February 17, 2012, 15:50
  6. It sounds like someone is generalizing & exaggerating! I’ve been celebrating Valentine’s for ages now! I know many of friends celebrate it too! In short, some people (regardless of their gender) want an excuse to be happy! and other LIVE to have an excuse to moan and be unhappy; especially Arabs, they love drama and being the victim!

    Posted by Tariq Al-Basha | February 18, 2012, 04:48
    • Exaggerating? I don’t think so. Generalizing? Maybe. But I did say “most” “many” and “majority”, I never said “all” =)

      Arabs or non-Arabs, I don’t think you know what people have been through or experienced for you to say they “live to have an excuse to moan and be unhappy”. It sounds to me like you are the one generalizing and exaggerating now. Just sayin’.

      Posted by smshamma | February 18, 2012, 09:22
  7. Agreed. Valentine’s isn’t necessarily about elaborate plans and gestures. It’s ultimately about reminding the person that you care for that you care. Men need to really understand that women don’t ask for much. Just a day. Just a flower, etc…
    But, oh well.

    Posted by Farah | February 18, 2012, 13:59
  8. Did the football men at least take the kitchen rubbish on their way out?

    Posted by C to the W | February 22, 2012, 02:06
  9. Reblogged this on I Got Talent.

    Posted by Mariam & Dimah | March 2, 2012, 13:08
  10. I don’t ordinarily comment but I gotta tell thank you for the post on this perfect one :D.

    Posted by Geraldo Baumgartner | March 29, 2012, 04:09


  1. Pingback: This is Not a Valentine’s Rant « Just Sayin' - February 14, 2013

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