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Musings, Valentine's Day

This is Not a Valentine’s Rant

Alright then, back to this Valentine’s Day business!

This time last year, I was quite angry (you can check out that post here) and rightly so! But fear not gentlemen, I promise not to go into an all-male rage this time around.

Before I start, I want to clearly state that I am neither against nor with this holiday. However, it always surprises me how every year the cynics come out to display their bitterness towards Valentine’s.

valentines-day-jason-bateman-love-date-identity-thief-ecards-someecardsYes, like any other holiday, it has become commercial. I know we use the same argument every time, but it’s true. Companies and capitalist masterminds cash in on these occasions by brainwashing us into spending lavishly on flowers, cheesy cards, tacky toys, jewelry, gifts, heart-shaped chocolates and extravagant restaurants. Absolutely nothing to do with love.

So what is so special about this holiday that couples feel the need to go all out, while singles try so hard to enjoy it just as much?

Well, like any other holiday, I see nothing wrong with at least making the effort of spending it with your loved one. Taking them out somewhere, watching a movie, a walk on the beach, an intimate night at home, maybe even making them dinner. All I’m trying to say is, you don’t need to spend horrendous amounts of money or do the typical hallmark activities in order to feel like you’ve had a special Valentine’s Day.

If I were to wake up to a simple post-it note wishing me a Happy V-Day from my partner (and yes they don’t even have to spell it all out), that alone would put a huge smile on my face and make the rest of the day worthwhile for me. After all, it’s the little things that count.

DD_457-vday love songsThis day is not meant to prove whether your partner loves you or not. It is not meant to rate your relationship, or create a standard in which to live by. It is just an excuse to spend some alone time together, and cosy up to one other. So, I say, why not?

In this fast-paced world, while we all attempt to juggle work, relationships and our personal lives, it becomes difficult to devote any time for our loved ones – especially when there are children involved. So this gives us an excuse to go out of our way and make time, even if it is for just a few hours. Doubtless, this shouldn’t be the only day where we go out of our way, but it serves as a good reminder nonetheless.

As for the recent anti-Valentine’s trend, which is nothing more than a pretense for single people to participate in the holiday by spending it with friends and family to celebrate their singledom – well, I see no need.

I mean, honestly, what is the point? Are they trying to fill a void by taking part in this holiday despite their lack of relationship status? Are they trying to make a statement, that they thrive in their independence? Are they trying to rub it in couples’ faces by enjoying it just as much?

As a woman, I have spent many a Valentine’s Day alone, and yet I’ve never felt the need or desire to go out especially to celebrate. So what if you don’t, or can’t, participate in this holiday? Should we all go out and celebrate Mother’s Day just because we feel left out? It’s silly.

I do wish a select group of friends and family a Happy Valentine’s, sometimes I go so far as to buy a few single roses to give to family, or like today, I bought my 3-year-old niece mini-Valentine’s cupcakes, but I won’t be losing sleep wishing I could have done something special on Valentine’s Day.

So, let the couples do their thing. Your time will come.

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About smshamma

"I'm selfish, impatient and a little insecure. I make mistakes, I am out of control, and at times hard to handle, but if you can't handle me at my worst, then you sure as hell don't deserve me at my best." - Marilyn Monroe

Discussion

6 thoughts on “This is Not a Valentine’s Rant

  1. Your niece has got to be the luckiest little girl in the world. Cupcakes say it all and mini-cupcakes are just the kind of little things that count. Little pleasures for others which have everything to do with love.

    It’s too bad there isn’t a good old fashioned bazaar held this time of the year. You could have an exotic looking tent with all the fun and enjoyable lurings of a fortune teller. If you needed an exotic name to go with it then Madame l’amour fou would say it all. Couples and singles would stroll into your tent for a chance at clairvoyance. What they would walk away with is a whole lot of encouragement, good sense and insight on how to appreciate your significant other. That’s how your posts, last year’s and this one too, come across.

    I had a cupcake down by LaBrioche and had purposefully tucked my own copy of Peter Pan in my coat. I read it again in one sitting and my spirits lifted thinking there’s nothing too wrong being on my own in a big city. Then as I turned the last page I saw a few quotes from J.M. Barrie that I had penciled in a long time ago. I’ll share them with you:

    “If you have love you don’t need to have anything else. If you don’t have it it doesn’t matter much what else you do have.”

    “Always be a little kinder than necessary.”

    “Let no one who loves be unhappy, even love unreturned has its rainbow.”

    So here’s hoping a secret sunshine and good fortune comes your way and that of your friends who were unhappy this time last year. You’ll agree with John Lennon that, “Nothing you can know that isn’t known. Nothing you can see that isn’t shown. Nowhere you can be that isn’t where you’re meant to be. It’s easy. All you need is love. All you need is love, love, love is all you need.”

    … now it’s your turn to sing along :)

    Posted by Ballad | February 14, 2013, 23:55
  2. Nice post suad! U know I feel that the majority of the people who publicly “celebrate” their singledom the most are the ones who wanna actually be in a relationship the most but can’t for one reason or another! Pretty ironic I shall say!

    Posted by sleiman | February 15, 2013, 16:47
  3. Would you believe your voice in this Valentine’s post found its way across the Atlantic to a young theater major in Arkansas? She was at a loss to find original material for her audition to a theater competition until she read your little things that count. I had forwarded this post to her mentor who by chance shared it with her because she liked how you put things front and center.

    Well it just unlocked her mind and she took inspiration from your flow of thoughts to perform a short one act play for her audition. That’s how clear and earnest your voice was to her and somehow a little drama took shape in her mind with your phrasing inspiring bits of dialogue.

    She told her mentor that it allowed her to create a stage for a character named Valentina. It’s a girl in her twenties who can’t ignore the sight of billboards and peddlers pushing needful things for a quick fix of love. All day she waits for little wonderful things to happen and watching the world’s lovers pass her by.

    I told the mentor that I would gladly pass this bit of charming news to you. Who would have thought an honest post would get someone to create a one act play for an audition … the flow of your thoughts could help you write a play, or two or three if you wish.

    You know the writer O. Henry and his short story of Gift of the Magi? Read it sometime because it’s a good companion to have on days when you need to believe in the little things that count.

    You’ve got something and writings plays could be a part you can play :)

    Posted by Ballad | February 21, 2013, 23:12
    • Wow. That truly is amazing. I’m so glad my writing is traveling so far to inspire people, and I guess I have you to thank for that. It’s quite something having someone endorse my writing in this way, makes me more motivated to keep up the writing. I’ve never considered play writing, don’t really know if I would be good at it, or if it is my thing, but it’s good to know I have many options anyway :)

      Posted by smshamma | February 22, 2013, 16:50
  4. It might not make sense to leave this comment here but it’s a small part from a speech I had delivered … I found it tucked away in my time capsule that I opened up. I thought these words might do you some good. It’s how I felt about the real sacrifices we make to grow:

    You have to be willing to do whatever you need to do to be better. You have to sacrifice the pain, or the joy and all the emotions that are living inside you that make you who you are … to dig in there as long as it takes – that’s the sacrifice. Being able to bring those moments of truth out in the way you love, work with people, or care for those around you. Whatever you do you have got to give that up and breathe life into those parts of yourself. Use whatever is inside of you and turn it into something good. It’s that Rumpelstiltskin story of spinning straw into gold. You read everybody, read the best writers, you write no matter if everybody around you is off doing other things. You have to will yourself to better. If you really and truly love and believe in yourself you better go for it, and you owe it to yourself to do that – that’s the sacrifice. It’s taking that time to dig into yourself, find the brown spots on your apple and all the other good things that make you who you are and use them to spin the straw you’re given in life into gold.

    Posted by Ballad | March 1, 2013, 23:45

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